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Canceling is not a new phenomenon, but it has become a primary online tool used to express disagreements and disapprovals by individuals and groups.
Canceling is not a conversation. It is simply the decision of a group of persons who judge that their ideals for a community have been wrongfully injured and walked upon by an individual, persons, or organisation.
Women have been the major culprits of the canceling culture in our communities and online platforms.
These are the three (3) ) principal ways we cancel women in our homes, communities, organisations, and nations: social and cultural ostracisation, unfair practices, governmental directives, and our religious practices.
It is important to remember that the “cancel culture against women” always runs against the liberties and freedom of women. Unfortunately for such groups or persons who seek to cancel women, I have news for them.
Women cannot be silenced. Liberty always thrives and wins. It may appear dark and disheartening for women in our communities, but a woman’s voice and participation cannot be buried or hidden by the corrupt and wicked hands of people and organisations who seek to cancel them.
Growing up I saw a very different “cancel “ culture. It wasn’t online but it was nevertheless unpleasant, painful and no daughter or woman should ever have to go through such ordeals.
Let us take a quick look at the various ways we cancel women and our daughters in our communities and workplaces today.
Social and cultural ostracisation
It is not rare to still hear reports about women been told to be quiet because they are women.
In the US, female members of the House of Congress are told how long their skirts should be, in the UK, women still have an uphill task getting into certain sectors of the economy.
Examples include the construction industry: driving heavy trucks in construction sites; plumbers; electricians; carpenters etc.
As a community, we create and promote environments and cultures that deliberating undermine and exclude women.
Take, for instance, we live in countries where:
Women are expected to always agree on all matters. You will be “canceled” if your voice defers from the voice of other women on certain subjects i.e. politics, religion, human rights, climate change, etc.
Women have no decisions about who they get married to. While men can object to marital arrangements with little chaos, a woman is seen as heady, unwise, proud, insensitive, belligerent if she decides contrary to her parents or extended family plans.
Women are beaten and even stoned to death for “cheating “ on their spouses. Society is structured to make women apologies and be responsible for everything negative in a relationship. Women are called ugly names for the same things that men are seen as heroes.
Women cannot sit in the council of men.
Young girls are circumcised to perpetuate the traditions and customs of the community.
Young girls are given out in early marriage to protect the “honour” of their fathers or homes.
Young girls are stopped from continuing their education after secondary school. Further education is seen as ideal for boys and men who are deemed to be the future providers of their family units.
Women who chose to be single are treated with contempt and “uninvited” to social gatherings. This also applies to women who choose to stay married without children or get married to men from different cultures to theirs etc. Women have been disavowed by their fathers for choosing to marry outside their cultural settings.
You ask, what have these practices got to do with “cancel culture”. These practices “cancel out” women by sustaining structures and practices that silence the voice of women and relegate their public participation to the background.
Women and our daughters are seen as inferior, and their voices and public participation are met with scorn. This applies to all women including women in political offices.
Unfair practices.
Many of us (men) cannot bring ourselves to accept the unique qualities of women in our homes, communities, and workplaces. We are constantly in denial of what we say by our words and actions even when the excellence of women contradicts our stand and stares us in the face.
We refuse to acknowledge that women can undertake and excel in their chosen field in life. We still see women as weak, subordinate and expect them to follow, listen but not lead or initiate.
Many communities have an unhealthy pride to keep women behind the scenes and a fear of what we become of them if women take on prominent leadership roles. It is such an unconscious bias that we often just gloss over these practices and treat them as normal.
Take the following instances:
Women are underpaid for the same jobs as their male colleagues. Many will scream, that is not “cancel” culture. Well, this practice takes the rug from underneath the feet of women financially in the workplace and in life. It is a subtle judgment of a woman’s worth and contribution to the organisation. You undertake the same job with excellence, yet you are reminded of your “place” by the wages you earn as a woman. That is the “cancel” culture ingrained in our organisations.
Women are emotionally pressured by their organisations to choose between making progress in their careers or raising their families. Our systems have no consideration for women who choose to raise their families. Women are made to feel responsible for their choices “They choose the exit door when they could have chosen their careers”. We are wrong. We are responsible for refusing them the option to have children alongside their careers. That is an option we take away from women.
In sports, women are constantly put between a rock and a hard place to give their opinions about who they would define as a woman. Women are expected to understand the sciences of what it means to be a “biological woman” in sports. Whichever way a woman chose, there is an uproar calling for her to be censored and canceled. This never happens with the men. No one ever is questioned to define who a man in sports is.
In the entertainment world, women are often pressured to appear thin and to keep a “slim” physique or they will be body-shamed into silence. A man’s physique is never in the public debate. We simply say, he played his role well. Not so for the women.
In the film industry, women have been canceled and have lost out of certain roles because they insisted on certain clothing that did not advertise or reveal more of their bodies. Such women decided that less for them was more pleasant and acceptable, but this goes against the grain of what the industry wants. The film industry continues to objectify women’s bodies and they still cancel women because of their appearances on set /films. This continued even during the “Metoo” movement.
Women have lost millions in brand endorsements and even lost their jobs for their refusal to back down from speaking out against- the cruelty to animals, the ill-treatment and violence to women, the awful depiction of women as sexual products in the media, etc
Our decisions to remove or replace women in our communities and organisations are done to curtail any influence we think such women would exert in the public sphere. We accept and perpetuate environments that are offensive, unwelcoming, and deny women and our daughters from becoming a voice and reference point in our homes and communities.
This is what I call the “subtle cancel” of women and our daughters from the public discourse.
Religious practices
Many religious practices are still undertaken with the deliberate aim to ensure the voices of women are not raised or ever heard in their communities.
Women are seen and their voices and contributions relegated or tied to their roles as wives, mothers, aunties, etc. This is so disempowering to women and daughters.
Right from childhood, girls are consciously made to feel inferior to boys, girls are constantly reminded that boys are their heads, protectors, and leaders, girls have no choice but to hear and follow the directives of the men figure in their lives and that includes male extended family members.
I have come to understand that everything a man touches becomes corrupted. We are quick to pursue, protect and enforce any practice that builds our ego, protects our status quo about women.
Religion plays an important role in the lives of many communities. Unfortunately, men have and still use religion as a tool to silence women. The sad truth is that women now use religion as a tool to hold down and silence the voice of their daughters and other women.
Karl Max is attributed to have said, “religion is the opium of the masses”. He was dead wrong. Religion should be the one toolbox that equips and strengthens the voice of anyone including women. When religion takes the position to shut down women and cancel them from the public sphere, it becomes tyranny.
Tyranny tells women:
They cannot be heard in the general meetings.
They cannot question the dictates of their religious practices. Such instructions are immutable and binding throughout a woman’s life.
We have used religion as an indisputable tool to paint women as unimportant except in what the ill-informed consider their primary roles: give birth and care for their children, attend to house chores, and cook.
Government directives
Our governments promote and enforce the cancellation of a woman’s voice. The excuse many politicians and even citizens give always seems to fall along these lines “ we have many women politicians who serve in the highest echelon of governments in our countries”. We refuse to admit that this attitude allows our governments to gloss over, ignore, play dead, postpone policies that take on the cancellation of women in our communities.
Take, for instance, we live in countries where:
Women know their abuse will never be taken seriously by the police and that the legal systems are skewed against them.
Women are reminded that the unequal pay structures for men and women are not negotiable and if they chose the path of legal redress, they may be ruined financially for life.
Women are not allowed to travel out of their countries without the consent of their husbands or dads.
Women are seen as non-credible witnesses in courts.
Women are not allowed any inheritance from the will of their parents.
Women cannot drive alone without the company of their husbands, dads, or brothers. All male figures.
Have you noticed how women leaders are sometimes treated?
The EU president, a woman, recently complained about her treatment by a foreign nation. It was obvious and everyone was certain that her mistreatment in the public space was a reminder by the host nation “You are a woman first before you are a leader”. Shameful but that is still the mindset we hold about women and our daughters.
In conclusion, cancellation is not only when people or groups advocate the removal, sack, of individuals or “walking away” from organisations. It includes the umbrella term “silencing women” in our workplaces, communities, and homes.
We were all brought up with various biases towards women. It's time we unlearn those ideals and take on the truth and celebrate the uniqueness of women and our daughters.
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