Woman, do you love yourself?

Many will answer “Yes, I love myself” but upon deep reflection, will come up with a slightly different answer. A watered-down version.

A woman’s love for themselves was often seen and treated as self-centredness , selfishness, myopic and uncaring of others.

Girls were repeatedly told from very young age that they should always think about their homes, and family’s needs first.

Many are still being told in their millions, that they must not entertain the “wild dreams” and the ambitions in their hearts like their desire to pursue and engage in STEM related careers like Engineering.

They are advised to curtail and hold back those “adventurous” thoughts due to certain perceived fears like getting married too late or becoming too “masculine”.

Woman, do you love yourself ? This is often a neglected question and in many cases it is never asked to avoid stirring the “bird’s nest” or ruffling the prized “feathers” or egos at home.

The question, Woman, do you love yourself? , may appear strange but it is a necessary one you need to answer. You do not have to shield yourself from the uncertainties the answers may lead you to. Ask yourself the question.

Do not allow the likely pain, regrets, disappointments, or fears, which the answer may unveil, to stop you from becoming whole.

You have held your breadth for too long on this most important question. It may appear strange and foreign to some, but the question: do I love myself? is a necessary one for you today.

The question, do I love myself? should be similar to a yearly review which you do for your various anniversaries and birthdays. I do not deny it may initially make you feel uncomfortable but trust me, the answers will lead you to a path of goodness and not harm.

The depth of your answers will expand, change, and lead you unto new territories as you get to know yourself better and especially when you eventually receive the person of LOVE into your heart.

What we believe about ourselves is the most important foundation upon which any productive life structure can be built upon.

Love is seen in the decisions we make; the words we utter; our beliefs; the company we keep and our life pursuits.

I have listed some of my thoughts below for every woman to ponder and reflect upon.

You are the one unique constant in your life.

You are in a unique place, the earth, which we often take for granted. It takes the special gift of life in you to explore and experience the various events, persons, and activities on earth.

You are here, and that is no accident or small matter. You have been licensed and authorised by the free gift of life to participate and contribute to this world.

You are the one constant, required and essential for “you” to participate in life. Life, as it relates to you is empty and non-existent without your physical presence. You are here, and that is a lot.

Over time, everyone, and everything around you will change. You will experience them, closely or from a distance. They will impact you differently.

I wish you appreciate the beauty and the mind-boggling concept that “you” are the central person of attention in your world. In a sense, your world revolves around you. This I know contradicts what you may have been told.

You need to make sense of your significance. In answering the question: “Woman, do you love yourself” , I advise you rephrase the question to read : “do I consider and see myself as a unique constant in life”?

You are happening. You are not an idle “by stand” in life. You are an entity with life and purpose. Your very presence on earth tells you something special about your significance.

You must see and know your significance, outside any accomplishments. You were born. You happened. Acknowledging yourself, is the root of self-love.

You are an occasion that happens every time in life

We have allowed our world to be framed by an idea , a lie, that says: you only matter if society or the world at large recognises you.

Our significance is often tied to some recognised and celebrated accomplishments by society. While these achievements are noble, valuable, and true about your person, we must never allow these recognitions replace the value and appreciation of ourselves as individual persons.

The applause and the “likes” is often a slippery slope. You must not fall prey to a system that is quick to celebrate, and almost immediately discard their heroines.

You cannot live for the applause or recognition from your world. The “top achiever” to you, must not be the applause of your world but your obedience to pursuing the cry and demands of “love” in your heart.

It is a very sad state of affairs when women in many communities still have their access to the public square restricted, and in many cases , denied.

For those women who choose to go against the grain and break ranks from the general community, they often do so at great financial and social costs and in many cases, the risk to their own life.

Please be reminded, lady, you happen everywhere and every time you show up. In the workplace, religious setting, at home , shopping. I mean, you happen everywhere.

Beyond being a mum, aunt, sister, wife, or grand ma , you matter as a unique person. Every other thing , activity or involvement are the expressions of your person and substance.

Woman, you are a seed that bears fruits in the lives of those you do life with. You do not have to be a celebrity to walk tall and shoulders up.

Your supervisors, managers, teachers, friends and even family members may treat you and make you feel you are “an extra luggage in life” or “an itch that irritates ” but they are mistaken.

You will never fit into everyone’s mold. You are human and “failing” is very much a human experience. Failing simply affirms that there is room for growth, and it reminds you that life is transient and a gift you must treasure and be grateful for.

Outside you, you have no authenticity.

We have all been taught and made to believe lies about our self-worth. Unfortunately, many erroneously make science say: “women are worthless and that they have no intrinsic value as persons”.

There is a very unscientific push by many, including many in government to remove the term “woman”, “girl”, “female” etc. from our public discourse.

I recently heard the head of a party in England say, “It is not right to say only women have a cervix”. Many today ascribe to the false narrative that the term “woman” is a social construct.

Some are aggressively lobbying governments to allow for the option of not biologically labeling newborn babies at birth. They consider it for example as unwise and emotionally unhealthy for parents to treat their newborn daughters as female.

There is a lot of noise to be everything and appreciate everyone but not as a woman. You are subtly advised to celebrate and appreciate everything about your person, but do not mention the term “woman” or “daughter”.

To every female: woman, girl, daughter, aunt, wife, gran ma, mother , you have a unique biological body which is real, authentic and qualifies you to accomplish certain tasks only you can.

And that aspect of your life is your choice, and you should never bow your head down in disgust or hold your hands over your mouth in silence when it relates to your verbal celebration of your biological body.

I believe and I know you are unique in your person and in your contributions. You matter and count. You have believed and accepted for long, the negative opinions you have of yourselves as women.

These erroneous beliefs have been reinforced by your own experiences: your decisions, failed relationships, unruly children, poor job outcomes, financial struggles.

Your feelings, and the opinions of many individuals you respect, sadly puts you back in a dark place. A place where you feel alone and unwanted, all to yourselves and with no help insight.

It is time to listen to LOVE. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are not an accident, and this fact about you is true despite the circumstances of your birth.

You are authentic and should remain so.

Your life is a necessary footprint in life

Lady, your footprints are in the lives of people and not just in the annals, or year books that bear your name. Your work and influence are clearly seen in people’s lives and that to me goes beyond any external recognition.

You are distinct as a woman and unique as a person. You have something others will never have. You are something to our world that no one can ever be. The word , YOU, appears simple and ordinary but that is your distinction and true worth in life. YOU.

What makes you different is not your nationality, religious belief, disability, life experiences, qualification, gender, body shape, or sexual orientation. No. ‘You’ as in your person, makes you different.

Your life is the only recognisable footprint of your person. Our world requires your participation. This is not pride or cockiness. It is a FACT we rarely emphasize.

Your life is a necessary footprint in time.

Apart from who you are , you have nothing to offer

You are such a unique design and that is why you bear a unique trademark on your person that says : Credible for life.

You are recognised by life itself.

You may feel inadequate, unqualified, out of sync, and even as a fraud to give your opinion or contribute to our world, but that feeling is a lie. It is an attempt to rob our world of your unique touch and approach.

You must refuse to believe the “out of place” feeling you have which you get from your own experiences , feelings, and even the remarks from your trusted friends, mentors, and professionals.

Take some time to reflect on the following:

· Life lives in you, and you are a gift to be expressed and experienced by many in your world.

· People will always have an opinion of you; do you have an opinion of yourself? It is unwise to run from your own shadows.

· We can be alive and empty of the truth about ourselves. That opens the door for manipulations, abuse, condemnation, ingratitude, fear, and hopelessness.

· Outside who you are as an individual; you are a poor copy of another. You will live in the dark shadows of another person. The light of life is on you, do not go into hiding under another person’s shadows.

Woman, your voice, your presence, your touch, your opinions, your mindset count.

You are significant in our world, your world.

I celebrate you, always.

You are loved by LOVE.

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